Zach and Robbie Present: The Otaku Crew's Excellent Adventure
by biecie
Summary: Takes place in the universe made by the kid's session, ie alt version of ours. Neat little tale done in the spirit of it's inspiration. Command requests are welcome. Rated T for swearing and probable human on troll lemons later on.
1. The Intro

**Hey guys, it's me again, with a story about a little something called homestuck.**

**Yep, I'm reading it. However, I am actually not the one writing this little story. Due to some problems he is experiencing with his own account, my good friend, child_of_nature_friend_of_man, has asked me to post this on my account for him, and I have obliged, in return for putting me in it later on.**

**Anyway, this is told in the traditional mspa text adventure format, and the author as taking suggestions for commands. Feel free to pm child_of_nature_friend_of_man with command suggestions.**

**Commands submitted in the comments will generally be reviewed for good ideas as a rule. Do NOT pm your requests to my account or they will be ignored.**

**Please read, review, and submit. We need your constructive criticism and cooperation to make this story better.**

**Neither the author, nor myself own anything but our own ocs, all the OCs will be credited as they are introduced into the story. Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie, but i hope that you will think me and my friend truly write crazy plots "like a huss!"and so we go...**

Zach and Robbie Present: The Otaku Crew's Excellent Adventure

A young man walks down his driveway. It just so happens the today, the 6th of May, while not this young mans birthday, is on par with the occasion in regards to his excitement level due the fact that this day is the release date of the Homestuck video game. What will the name of this young man be?


	2. Enter name

Enter name==

TITS MAGEE


	3. Facepalm

Facepalm==

You perform a classic facepalm in frustration over the blatant trolling of your stories collective readership, whatever that means. Perhaps they will be a bit more civil now that they have gotten it out of their system.


	4. Re-enter name

Re-enter name==

ZACHARY BELLARD

That's more like it.

Your name is Zachary Bellard. You are 18 years old. You live on a small farm with your aunt and uncle, as you do not know who your actual parents are. You are fascinated by media and entertainment that is not yet or no longer appreciated by the majority of society. As a result, you have been branded by most of your classmates at your highschool as a hipster, which is inaccurate, seeing as you are not ironic in your appreciation of your interests. It would be much more accurate to describe you as akin to the Japanese otaku. You have a gift for strategy, and as such have also nurtured a passion for video and card games, especially RPGs. Your pesterlog handle is SburbanBrony, and you tend to pepper your messages with lame puns and references to media indicative of your interests. You be dolin out the bad jokes like cheap was previously stated, today is the day that the highly touted (at least in your circles) Homestuck beta. What will you do?


	5. Go inside

Go inside==

You enter the house. You are now in your writing room. This is where you come to work on your various fanfictions, which you rarely actually publish. Not because they aren't any good, you just don't have the time to update them regularly with all the stuff you have to do, and it would be rude to keep your (admittedly small) fandom waiting. There are many houseplants on the windowsills, which keeps the oxygen in the room at an ideal level for creative productivity. on your writing desk, next to your lamp, you keep a small tray of peppermints, which you suck on while you write because you read somewhere that they stimulate mental activity. you don't know if it is true, but it sure is tasty.


	6. Examine room

Examine room==

You take a moment to look around your space. To the right of your desk is your uncle's extra refrigerator, where he stores the meat which he harvests from the livestock, and by harvesting it from the livestock, you of course mean he smashes their skull with a hammer and butchers them, you were simply trying to keep it tasteful. Your uncle does not really respect the sanctity of your writing room, and has made this clear by, in addition to keeping his meat-fridge in here, also uses the left side of the room to store various odds and ends which he uses in his job as a welder. The farm is really just a hobby of his, and you are often left to do most of the actual work off feeding and caring for the livestock. You don't mind though, you enjoy being around animals, and they tend to like you. You have a knack for knowing how they are feeling and they usually seem to know what you are trying to communicate to them. You've long since stopped being curious about your abilities, and have simply chalked it up to spending your entire life around them.


	7. Go further into house

Go further into house==

You enter the dining room, which, aside from the occasional houseguest, is rarely used by anyone except yourself. When your uncle is not trying to entertain guests, he usually takes his evening meal in the living room while he watches his favorite sport, horse racing. Once upon a time, your uncle was a very successful breeder of prize race horses, but when he took you in, he gave it up to have more time to raise you. However, you still have many horses on the property, remainders from his stock, which you have grown very friendly with. your favorite one is a pure white stallion named Senior. he is a bit odd at times, even ignoring his strange abilities. He often tries to nibble on your clothing when you brush his mane, but the two of you are best pals, and you like him just the way he is. You often contemplate wbhat riding him would be like, but you quickly dismiss the notion, since you do not have a desire to end up in another country, or on the moon. To the left is the kitchen, where your uncle can often be found preparing hus specialty, rice and gravy. Next to the living room is the fully stocked bar, wher your uncle actually occasionally succeeds at entertaining his guests.


	8. Examine gun cabinet

Examine gun cabinet==

You enter the bar and and examine your uncle's gun cabinet. Inside is an enviable collection of pistols, rifles, and shotguns. He always keeps these fully loaded, an case of burglers or tresspassers. You ponder for a moment on what a terrible idea it was to store loaded firearms so close to the booze. However, your uncle does not use these well tended killing apparatus for day to day strife, preferring to use his trusty slegehammer, jolene, whom he keeps on a wall mount when it's not in use.


	9. Equip two pistols to strife specibus

Equip two pistols to strife specibus==

While you will certainly admit that wielding dual pistols in strife certainly looks badass and cool, you have no idea how to operate them, and would probably just end up shooting yourself in the foot, or something equally stupid. Besides, your primary specibus has already been allocated with the batkind abstratus.


	10. Examine weapon in specibus

Examine weapon in specibus==

You call up your preferred weapon, a baseball bat. You received this weapon on your 13th birthday from your uncle. It is a special bat, which your uncle made for you specifically for use in strife. as such there are a few differences which distinguish it from your run-of-the-mill hollow aluminum affair. It is made out of steel, and is much thicker than your average bat. It is also a fair deal heavier, but you have long since grown used to the additional weight and are now able to wield it as easily with one hand as with two. Upon receiving it, you promptly named the bat Candence. You picked up the habit of giving weaponry feminine names from your uncle. You do so because according to him, it makes you seem tougher, like saying "fuckin'" in sentances, or wearing combat boots. Most people would have at least a little difficulty handling such a heavy weapon, but fortunately for you, your uncle has trained you in the ways of strongness for as long as you can remember, so although you are really more of an intellectual type, what with your slender frame and quick wit, you can also crack open a can-no, a whole kegs worth of whoopass on a mothafucka if you have to.


	11. Examine Jolene

Examine Jolene==

You look at the wall mount where your uncle proudly displays Jolene when she is not in use, but she seems to be missing. A familiar feeling creeps over you, the feeling that you and Candence will be having a double date with your uncle and Jolene quite shortly.


	12. Proceed to your room

Proceed to your room==

You return Candence to your strife deck and proceed down the hallway to your room. The door opposite your room is your uncle's room, which he keeps locked at all times. You know that if you really wanted to, you could break the lock with a good swing from Candence: and you know that he knows that you know. But he also knows that you know that the consequences would be...unpleasant, to say the least. So, you let him have his secrets, and in return, he lets you keep all of your bones intact, at least, for the most part. Anyway, as I was saying, you enter your room.


	13. Admire your possessions

Admire your possessions==

On a whim, you decide to take a moment to admire your possessions. on one wall, you have a number of shelves. The topmost shelf holds your collection of awards, which you have garnered through victory in various competitions of skill, intelligence, and, at the insistence of your uncle, physical ability. on the next shelf down, you house your collection of games, figurines, and trading cards. you have a knack for anticipating what your opponent will do next, and as such, have used this ability to become affluent in games of strategy. It also comes in handy during strife. the remainder of your shelves are crammed with a number of books. You love to read, and have read all of these books at least twice. You also keep a number of your fanfics on the shelf. you don't plan on publishing them, but they bring back fond memories. The wall opposite that one bears a large dry-erase board, on which you maintain an extensive shipping wall for your favorite webcomic, Homestuck. It got a lot more complicated when the trolls started contacting you and your friends. The story behind this little tidbit would probably deserve some sort of expository explaining the events which caused it if there was someone reading about your current predicament. However, you are confident that this is not the case, and decide that it will be sufficient to let these kinds of things be revealed to the non-existent reader through the natural course of the story. on the wall to the right of this one is your collection of intellectual tough guy posters. This wall is dedicated to those skilled and dedicated enough to master the intellectual, as well as the physical arts. Black Dynamite, Sherlock Holmes, Batman, and Equius Zahhak, of course. These are just a few of the titans of brain and brawn gracing the wall.


	14. Examine shipping wall

Examine shipping wall==

You take a moment to make sure that everything is still "ship-shape", which, of course, it is. You congratulate yourself for keeping such a "tight ship".


	15. Punch yourself for using bad jokes

Punch yourself in the testicles for using such horrible puns==

You quickly disregard this idea, as your jokes kick ass, and in no way suck. Okay, that was a blatant lie. You know your jokes suck, but thats what makes them so funny. Even so, you still refuse to punch yourself in the testicles, you need those! Suddenly, your laptop makes a loud dinging noise, which indicates that someone is attempting to message you on pesterchum.


	16. Open Pesterchum

Open Pesterchum==

You capchalouge your laptop in your array modus, which you received for your birthday last year. Before you obtained this, you werre forced to use the Punchline modus, which required you to make jokes reguarding the artifact you wished to retrieve. This modus is the culprit responsible for your habit of terrible jokes. You know you need to stop, but addiction is powerful thing. anyway, you sit down on your bed and retrieve your laptop. Oh, it's her. You always enjoy talking to her, she's just so nice. You decide that you had better answer her.


	17. Answer mystery chum

Here it is, everybody, the first pesterlog. I hope you like it. Please, for the love of god, leave a comment about what we could do better, or what we're doing right. we appreciate your readership, but your input is still required to make this story a success. to this end, I have decided to allow command suggestions in the reviews. tell us what you think Zach should do next, and we will make it happen. Go ahead. Just try not to troll too hard, we need to keep the story moving. We will also allow character sheets in the comments as well, so post away. Have fuuuuuuuun!

Answer mystery chum==

-arsenicCatnip began trolling sburbanBrony-

AC: :33 *AC creeps stealthily through the tall grass, inching towards her unsuspecting target.*

SB: *Suddenly, SB hears the subtle sound of the smallest of twigs snapping from within the tall grass behind him, and starts to turn around.*

AC: :33 *But it's too late. Suddenly, AC leaps from her crouching position, and springs forth, knocking SB onto his Back.

SB: *SB blushes with the shame of 100 embarrassments at being taken so easily by surprise.*

AC: :33 *AC grins smugly with both of her mouths as she lets her good friend back onto his feet. She fins it amusing that he was so easily flustered by her surprise attack.

SB: *SB gathers up the shards of his dignity into something resembling a respectable measure of composure. He dusts himself off, and says...*

SB: What's new, pussycat?

AC: :33 I was just going over your timeline on Trollian, and I saw that you got the game today. Just wanted to wish you luck.

SB: awwww, how kind of you. Thanks, Neppy.

AC: :33 heeheehee.

SB: YAAAAAAAY, you laughed, victory!

AC: :33 oh, you, you're so sw33t.

Ac: :33 *AC jumps up and puts her forepaws on SBs chest, and nuzzles him affectionately. She is glad she has such a nice matesprit.

SB: right back at ya, kitten. I'll talk more once I'm settled in, okay.

AC: :33 ok, Bye sweetie

SB: Mwah!

AC; X833 ~3

-arsenicCatnip ceased trolling sburban Brony-


	18. Admire posters

Admire posters==

For no reason in particular, you suddenly decide to admire your posters. This wall is a shrine dedicated to the rich tradition of intellectual badasses, people who prove that smart guys can be tough, too. James Bond, Tony Stark, Bruce Wayne, Sherlock holmes, and of course, Equius Zahhak. Whenever you gaze towards these titans of brain and brawn, you always feel...better. Suddenly, your admiration is interrupted by a knock at your bedroom door.


	19. Open door

Open door==

You open your bedroom door, only to find that there is no one there. However, there is a note on the floor. You recognize the handwriting as your uncle's.

Nephew.

Pasture.

Now.

Bring Candence.

It looks like sburb will have to wait until later. You give the sky a worried glance through your window. The meteor is still very far away, but it's not getting any further. In fact, the exact opposite is true. You crumple the note and toss it into your recycle bin. Gotta protect the earth, even if it is gonna be destroyed in a few hours.


	20. Get pumped

Get pumped==

You begin to prepare for the upcoming confrontation with your uncle. First, you capchalouge your i-pod and select the theme song of the most badass superfly guy to ever hit the scene.

"He's Dynamite...

So Dynamite...:"

You then proceed to capchalouge and equip your brown leather duster and sunglasses for maximum badassitude, this is probably gonna be the last time you go toe to toe with your uncle, so you figure you might as well go all out. Finished with your preparations, you proceed to head out to the pasture. Your uncle is waiting for you, brandishing jolene menacingly. You relax and drop into your typical loose defensive stance and cue up Candence. You are ready for...

**Keep this story going strong. Here it comes, everybody, the first strife of the story. I hope you like it. Please read and review, and submit, a command suggestion or two while you're there. Your support is what keeps the story going strong.**


	21. STRIFE

STRIFE==

You let your uncle make the first move, as always. The burly man charges forward and aggrieves. You use your superior flexibility to sidestep the blow, the impact of jolene hitting the ground leaves a sizable crater where you stood not a moment before. While you are a fair bit faster than him, you know that if he lands a hit, it's gonna hurt. Your uncle unleashes a flurry of blows. You cannot outright abjure his onslaught, so you simply redirect them, batting them to the sides. Soon you see your chance. Your uncle lets loose with a devastating uppercut, which you outright abjure with a crosswise block. You know what will happen, but this time, you want it to. The force of the blow sends you flying into the air, your uncle is soon a speck on the ground. Usually, at this point, the strife is over, but this time, you have an ace in the hole. You have been perfecting this move for months, or rather, you have been trying too. So far, every dry run has ended in failure. But you figure that this is the last time you will strife against him, so you might as well go all out. You ange yourself at your uncle as you fall, the speed of your descent will be crucial to victory. You lift your weapon above your head as you close the gap. You catch your uncle by surprise, and the power of your enhanced blow easily overwhelms him as you execute your new technique.

SKYBOURNE STRIKE!

The force of the blow creates a massive crater, and brings your uncle down, as his hammer hits the ground, your background music concludes.

"DYNAMITE"

DYNAMITE!"

**Well, there it is. I hope it was as good for you** **as it was for me.** **In case you are wondering,yes, that was deliberately sexual. Remember to read, review, and submit. We need your support,** **now more than ever!**


	22. Interrupt fight for no-shame self insert

Narrator: Interrupt climactic battle ending with shameless self insert==

Why the fuck did I type that, I was gonna do it anyway. Oh well, anyway, I have a bone to pick with you people out there.

First off, come on people, you read the story, you've seen me asking you to review and submit commands and Oc's, I even decided to forget my policy of ignoring review commands. Please, don't be shy, go ahead, submit any old Idea that comes to mind, go nuts. as long as you dont troll too hard, I have no problem with a little non-sequitur. Please make sure to submit OC character sheets to my account, I will read them all, every single one, and i will send you a message to let you know if I will be using him/her, as well as give you a credit for their conception in the chapter wherein the said character makes their appearance. Just no trolls or cherubs, please.

As for command suggestions, as I stated previously, go nuts! Post as many as you like, once as with the OC's, I will review them all. Please try to submit your suggestions in a timely manner, and submit them as a review for the last posted chapter, so I know that it is up to date.

If you wish to privately message me with a command, go ahead, I have nothing but time, and will, as with the OC's, send you a message if I decide to use it. I will not give you a shout-out however, as that would be kind of annoying to do for every chapter.

So, to sum up my point, If you read this story, please, for the love of Skia, submit something. Whether it's an, OC, or a command, it will be considered, and possibly even used, if i like it.

To be clear, no one has submitted Either a command or an OC up to this point. I have been going on my back up storyline, which I had hoped I wouldn't have to rely on.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have Important narrator stuff to do.


	23. Narrator: do important narrator stuff

Narrator: do important narrator stuff==

Gog Dammit, I did it again! FUCK!


	24. Zach: conclude epic battle

Zach: conclude epic battle==

You make your way into the house and go into the kitchen to get a glass of water, strifing always makes you thirsty. After you quench your thirst, you turn to return to your room, when you notice something on the dining room table.


	25. Examine something

Examine something==

It appears to be a package. It is addressed to you from your uncle. The package is gift wrapped with paper bearing your trademark indigo.


	26. Open package

Open package==

You promptly tear into the package to liberate the presumably sweet loot within. Inside you find- OH FUCK YEAH! You find a Pair of Brass Knuckles, which you decide to mentally capitalize in your excitement. The package also contains the loosely contextually implied fistkind strife specibus, as well as a note. You quickly add the fistkind specibus to your strife portfolio, and set the brass knuckles to it as well.


	27. Read note

Read note==

Congratulations, nephew.

You are now a man.

Wow, he must have been pretty confident you would beat him this time. You have a heartwarming moment over your uncle's confidence in your abilities.


	28. Equip brass knuckles

Equip brass knuckles==

You add the fistkind specibus to your strife deck, and place the brass knuckles into the strife deck, just in time for someone to pester you.


	29. Answer chum

Answer chum==

-bakaOtaku began pestering sburbanBrony-

BO: Hey:|

SB: Sup, man?

BO: Did you install the client yet?:|

SB: Nah, had to handle some delirious strifenasty with my uncle first. Get this, I finally got the better of him.

BO: Yeah, I knew you would:|

SB: Knowing shit does appear to be a specialty of yours.

BO: I wish I could beat my gramps. He whupped me pretty good earlier:|

SB: Well, he is a total Badass, so you have nothing to be ashamed of!

BO: Thanks, dude:|

BO: Anyway, I got the order for the connections all sorted out:|

SB: Solid, Man. Lay that shit on me like a cozy handmade quilt of preparation.

BO: *sigh* well, my meteor is gonna hit last, and your's is going to hit first, so I will be the server to your client, then, once you are situated, you can bring CE in, then we get MM to enter and complete the chain as my server:|

SB: Cool, I'm gon' get right on all that biznasty ASAP. TTYL.

BO: K:|

-bakaOtaku Ceased pestering sburbanBrony-

**Editor's note: The :| represents the monotone in the voice that you can't hear. So basically imagine a teenage black guy with a deep voice. P.S. the author and editor are two different people. Zach is the author, Robbie is the editor.**


	30. Zach: Make shit take place

Zach: Make shit take place==

You return to your room and situate yourself in bed before getting down to business on your at least, you try to get down to business, unfortunately, someone appears to be trolling you.


	31. Examine Trollslum

Examine Trollslum==

Oh gog, no. Not her. Not right now.

With a resigned sigh, you reluctantly answer the troll you love to hate.

**HERE it comes folks, my first pesterlog with my OC"s Kismiesis. I hope You Enjoy it.**


	32. Zach: answer troll

Zach: answer troll==

-arachnidsGrip began trolling sburbanBrony-

AG: Heeeeeeeey, what's up, Cutie?

SB: Fuck off, Spiderbitch, I'm not in the mood for your fangy grinned drivel right now.

AG: Ooooooooh, someones acting feisty know I like it when you get aggresive~3

SB: UUUGH, whaddaya want!

AG: Oh, just checking up on how my little protege is doing.

SB: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING PROTEGE. I do not want anything to do with your weird hate/love thing that you trolls do, so stop trying to groom me into "the Perfect Rival" or whatever you call it.

AG: Oh, 8ut that's why I'm Checking in. You just 8ested your Guardian right?

SB: Yeah, what of it.

AG: Excellent, with the progress you've made in the Flarp sessions I've 8een clouding for you, you should 8e ready for primetime any day now.

SB: What did I just frickin finish tellin' you, you stupid bitch. I swear to god, If we ever meet, I'm Going to maim your Cerulean spangled carcass beyond recognition, and then some.

AG: Mmmmmmmm, that's the spirit.~3

SB:RRRRRRRR!

AG: And look, You're even starting to do the 8's thing. see, we were made for each other.

SB: FUCK!

SB: I mean... ah dammit...

AG:HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

SB: Okay, fine.

SB: Look, If I do your weird Hate/Love thing, will you get the fuck off my back.

AG: Maaaaaaayyyyyyyybe...::::)

SB: Ugh, fine, whatever.

AG: Great, I knew you'd come around!

AG: As in, I literally knew it.

AG: From looking at your timeline.

SB: Well, If it's to preserve the stability of the alpha timeline, I suppose I can take one for the team and mack on a grody spidertroll.

SB: I just hate you...so much...

SB:Just...so very...very much!

AG: Right 8ack at ya, 8ig 8oy, see you aroooooooound!:::;)

AG: Mwah~3

-arachnidsGrip ceased Trolling sburbanBrony-


	33. Zach Soothe Headache

Zach: Soothe Headache==

You rub your temples in an attempt to nullify the anger headache that bitch gives you every time you talk to her, you are not a fan of spiders, nor of scheming bitches, and she happens to be both. You are not looking forward to the sloppy makeouts she insists are in your iminent future on a regular basis. You are, however, looking forward to serving her her own hindquarters on a gleaming silver nutrition plateau, which BO frequently assures you will happen around the same time as the as-for-mentioned sloppy makeouts, so you guess there's that. anyway, time to get this show on the road.


	34. Install client cd

Install client cd==

While the Client cd loads, you take a minute to examine a well worn book you keep on your nightstand. it is the flarp Manual the bitch gave to you on tour 13th birthday, along with the program adapted for use on your pc, courtesy of your tertiary friend, sollux. You have to give the bitch one concession, she sure knows how to cloud a mean scenario. Your weekly sessions almost always push you past your previous limits to new heights of physical and mental improvement. In fact, Flarp is what got you interested in exercising more than your brain. Oh look the client program is ready.


	35. Pester server Player

Pester server Player==

Now that you have the game installed, you might as well see if Robbie is ready to get things started, You proceed to pester your pal

-sBurbanBrony began Pestering bakaOtaku-

SB: Sup man?

BO: That question doesn't even make sense:|

SB: Yeah, but it's still polite to ask.

SB: Anyway, are you sure you want to enter last, man?

BO: Yeah I'm good. Just try not to die, dude:|

SB: Alright, man. Anyway, why don't you get your server on and start deploying stuff.

BO: Sure, I'll talk to you later:|

SB: Okay, man. LET"S MAKE THIS SHIT TAKE PLACE!

BO: *sigh*:|

-sBurbanBrony ceased pestering bakkaOtaku-

You exhale in a semi-weary sigh of your own. That guy can be a real drag sometimes, but he is your best friend, so it's all cool. Suddenly, you hear a series of loud crashes from your living room. You guess Robbie got to work deploying those devices.

**Author's note: Hey everyone, sorry about that brief lack of updates. I had some technical difficulties, but I have finally gotten them resolved. So here's some more of that sweet, sweet homestuck. Enjoy;)**


	36. Proceed to living room

Proceed to living room==

You proceed to your living room, where an array of large gizmos have replaced the majority of the furniture. You briefly wonder what happened to the furniture, but you decide it is probably better if you don't think about it too long. After all, you have a lot of work to do.


	37. Capchalouge pre-punched card

Capchalouge pre-punched card==

You scan the room for the object in question. You spot it on the coffee table and quickly capchalouge it for later use. No sense in leaving something so important lying around where it could get lost or damaged.


	38. Open cruxtuder

Open cruxtuder==

You proceed to examine the cruxtruder for a brief moment before bashing at the lid with Candence in a vain attempt to open the device. Frustrated with your failure, you proceed to flip your shit-wait, that does not do the episode justice. A more apt description of the proceeding event is that your shit does an acrobatic fucking piroutte off the handle as you then continue to attack the lid. Sadly, this effort is just as futile as the one proceeding. Eventually, your server player takes pity on you and opens it for you using the recliner. You then proceed to stop flipping your lid.


	39. Narrator: cease writing shitty jokes

Narrator: cease and desist writing shitty jokes==

What are you talking about, that line was great-wait, why am I commanding myself through the command prompt. This is fucking stupid, I'm just gonna continue with the story.


	40. Narrator: disregard the higher power

Narrator: disregard suspicions of a higher power at work==

Fine, whatever! I promptly disregard my suspicions and continue to direct this beautiful trainwreck of an adventure.


	41. Zach: examine Kernelsprite

Zach: examine Kernelsprite==

You are not sure what to do, there is no-


	42. Kernelsprite: suddenly appear

Kernelsprite: suddenly appear==

You take a moment to be a kernlesprite and suddenly appear. You cannot wait for the Knight of Heart to prototype you with something so you can begin to confuse you with all sorts of cryptic riddles and half truths in order to "help" him in his quest.


	43. Kernelsprite: Be Zach again

Kernelsprite: Be Zach again==

You stop being the kernelsprite and continue to be Zach. Now that you have gotten that episode out of the way, you should probably prototype the kernelsprite with something. But what?


	44. Go to your room

Go to your room==

You once again proceed to your room. Surely you can find something useful to put into the blasted thing. Or at least, something that will make the enemies weaker.


	45. Examine figurine collection

Examine figurine collection==

You take a look through your considerable collection of figurines, action figures, and other collectable toys. Now, what should you use...


	46. Zach: prototype with Princess Celestia

Zach: prototype Kernelsprite with Princess Celestia doll==

That would be incredibly ill advised. while it would be nice to have a wise, charismatic magical talking flying unicorn princess as a guide, the princess is nearly omnipotent, and prototyping with her would be extremely foolish. While you're at it, you might as well prototype it with a firt guardian, or something incredibly foolish like that.


	47. Prototype with goomba statue

Prototype with goomba statue==

Now that is a good idea. The notion of prototyping your kernelsprite with the underling of underlings seems like a much more sensible move. unfortunately, as you reach for the figurine, you accidentally knock over your ironic statue of Mr. Rodgers, sending it tumbling into the kernelsprite. You...guess this works too. Oh well might as well make the best of it, you suppose.


	48. Zach: consult Rodgersprite

Zach: consult Rodgersprite==

-spritelog-

Zach: uh...hi.

Rodgersprite: Hi there, neighbor. It's nice to meet you.

Zach: Yeah, nice to see you too, i guess.

Rodgersprite: Something the matter, sport.

Zach: Well, not to be rude, but I was sorta trying for someone else.

Rodgersprite: That's O.K. Sometimes things don't always turn out like we want them to. You're going to be getting a lot of that from now on. But I'm sure things will turn out for the best if you just stay positive. You will also be getting a lot of that as well.

Zach: Yeah, you're right, ghost of Mr. rodgers. Wait, so you're like, the actual Mr. Rodgers.

Rodgersprite: That's right, kid. I've come back from the dead in order to see you through the long and arduous journey to come.

Zach: Awwwww, long and arduous, that's the worst kind.

Rodgersprite: Now, young man. This won't be easy, but I assure you it will be well worth it in the end. The prize you will receive for the fufillment of your destiny will be well beyond anything you have ever known.

Zach: So I get to learn why people like Reality television?

Rodgersprite: Better.

Zach: I get to learn what hot dogs are made of?!

Rodgersprite: Beller!

Zach: I get to kick Wil Wheaton in the balls?!

Rodgersprite: Better!

Zach: Wow...better than kicking Wesley Crusher in the testicles. This is definitely gonna be awesome.

Rodgersprite: I'm happy to see you so excited about it.

Zach: Alright then, let's kick this bitch down the stairs!

Rodgersprite: Language, young man! Still, It's good to see that you have the right attitude about this. It's a start, at least. Now, that meteor is getting mighty close, so why don't you head over to the totem lathe and get started on preventing your untimely demise.

Zach: You don't have to tell me twice.

-end spritelog-


	49. Zach: Save yourself from untimely death

Zach: Save yourself from an untimely demise==

You swiftly proceed to accomplish the thing that the narrator whose existence you are completely unaware of has instructed you to do, but which you would have done anyway. You turn back to the newly opened cruxtruder and immediately extrude, what else, a dowell of cruxite, which you promptly take to the totem lathe. You insert the pre punched card into the slot on the totem lathe, and place the cruxite dowell in the clamp. The lathe quickly carves the dowell into a totem, which you waste no time in placing on the smaller platform of the alchemeiter. The device scans the totem, and out of nowhere appears an indigo colored ice-cream man with a cart. The ice-cream man reaches into his cart, and pulls out a delicious drumstick, your favorite ice-cream treat of all time. The ice-cream man gives you a mysterious wink, and vanishes into thin air. You eye the drumstick hungrily. You know exactly what to do with this...


	50. Shove Drumstick into front of pants

Shove Drumstick into front of pants==

After flipping yourself off for such blatant stupidity in the face of imminent peril, you promptly take what is obviously the only sensible course of action and dine on the delicious frozen treat before you consume the frigid cone of ambrosia, the light streaming through the windows turns a sublte shade of violet. You quickly infer that you have now entered the medium.


	51. Relax

Relax==

While you fell it would be a very bad idea to relax at this point, you do, however, breathe a heavy sigh of relief. You are safe. At least, as safe as one can be when they're playing this screwball game, anyway. Now taht you are in the medium, things can really get interesting.

**Alright, guys, the next command will introduce the next character in the story, (bakaOtaku A.K.A Robbie Ray) this character is based on my good friend and editor of the story, Robbie Celestine. I hope you enjoy reading about him as much as I enjoy writing his likeness.**

**Editor's note: "Robbie Ray" was never my nickname and never will be. EVER.**


	52. Zach: Be the next guy

Zach: Be the next guy==

O.k., so there's this really chill dude, right. This guy is just sitting in his bed on his computer, bein' all nonchalant, like chill dudes often do. He is smack dab in the middle of the mad mystical shit with his good pal, who has just narrowly avoided death at the hands of an enormous flaming space boulder. This chill dude probably has a pretty cool name, but he probably wouldn't just tell you what it was if you asked him, because he really doesn't give two shits whether you know his name or not, so i'm afraid you will just have to guess.

So, whaddaya think his name might be?


	53. Enter name of other guy

Enter name==

PEDOBEAR JONES


	54. BO: stare them down

BO: stare them down==

You just stare them down. This is no fun, let's just cut the crap this time.


	55. Enter real name

Enter real name==

ROBBIE CELESTINE

That's much better.

Your name is Robbie Celestine. At this time, you are currently engaged in playing a game with a group of friends. This game, for convenient reference, is a game that will bring about the end of your society. But you are okay with that, and so is your best friend, who is currently the only of your friends who is playing the game. Outside of you and your best friend, none of your pals know of the full ramifications that playing this game will cause, but they will find out soon enough. But that's enough poorly done foreshadowing for now, you still need to make your interests known. A guy as laid back as you are is sure not to have that many, but they are still important to you. You are what some people might call an AFRICAN AMERICAN, but you do not buy into all that politically correct bullshit. You just say that you are a black guy. Today, the 6th of May, is not your birthday, but even if it was, it would not matter to you. Being a Jehova's witness, you do not celebrate birthdays anyway. You have a medium variety of interests. You are an ameture GENETICIST. Your favorite pastime is to genetically engineer very small GENETIC ABOMINATIONS, which you pit against each other in GLADIATOR STYLE COMBAT. You maintain that this practice is nothing like pokemon, which you also enjoy. You also occasionally dabble in ECTOBIOLOGY, but the time shennanigans involved are a bit beyond you, so you mostly leave that kind of thing to another of your friends who is much better at it. You are quite fond of VIDEO GAMES, and can often be found playing your favorite series, KINGDOM HEARTS, but you also enjoy SKYRIM, to almost the same degree. You are a fan of manga and anime, far surpassing the extent as your best friend. You also like to draw the characters from your favorite shows and stories, and are pretty good at it. However your attempts to draw your own characters are quite a far cry from your skill in copying. You live with your Grandpa, you do not know what he does for a living, but all your friends consider him to be a CERTIFIABLE BADASS. Your Chumhandle is bakaOtaku, and you end your sentances with a blank faced emoticon which indicates your spoken monotony :l

The question looms, what will you do now?


	56. Talk to one of your pals

Talk to one of your pals==

You open pesterchum and pester MM, he's going to ge entering soon, and you want to make sure that he is ready to go.

-bakaOtaku began pestering michelangelicMechanic-

BO: Hey:l

MM: Hey R0b, sup?

BO: Are you all set to enter?:l

MM: Just ab0ut. 1 st1ll have a few th1ngs 1 need t0 take care 0f bef0re 1 can get started, but 1 sh0uld be ready s00n.

BO: Alright, cool. Just talk to Mr. Rodgers once you're ready:l

MM: W0w, that was really rand0m.

BO: You'll get it when the time comes, don't sweat it for now:l

MM: 0.k., sure. TTYL.

-michelangelicMechanic ceased Pestering bakaOtaku.-


	57. Robbie: check on pet

Robbie: check on pet==

You captchalogue your laptop through your wallet modus and proceed to the living room, where your pet is often hard at work licking itself. It is about time to feed her, though, she might be getting a bit testy. You should stay alert.


	58. Examine living room

Examine living room==

You enter your living room and look around for the mischievous beast you keep in your home for companionship, But she is nowhere in sight. The Blasted thing must be pulling it's ninja shit again. She often does this when she is feeling a bit playful. But you know how to weed her out.


	59. Robbie: weed her out

Robbie: weed her out==

You capchalouge the bag of chow in the corner and shake it. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a sudden flash of movement. You turn to face it a second too late, and your furry assailant sends you crashing to the floor.


	60. Examine furry assailant

Examine furry assailant==

It is none other than your genetically engineered companion, Mouse. You created her when you were younger by taking the remains of your dead cat, and splicing it with your dead dog's DNA. The Dang thing is always pulling this sort of stuff, but is always too busy grooming itself, and other catlike things, to assist you with fighting your grandpa. You could really use the help, too, seeing as your grandpa hands your hindquarters to you on a silver nutrition plateau on a daily basis. You just cannot beat him, he is simply too badass.

**Editor's note: Mouse is ment to be the love-child of my dead male dog, Shinjiro and my dead female cat, Lil'mouse. Weird? Probably, but I had the idea ever since I wrote a short story that could have been interpreted as a bit of a romantic one, which was slightly my intention. **


	61. Feed Mouse

Feed Mouse==

You get up from the ground and supply your pet with her daily meal. She promptly loses all interest in you and begins to dine on the bowl of kibble you have supplied.


	62. Return to room

Return to room==

Now that you no longer have to worry about the threat of a surprise catdog ninja attack, you return to your room. It is only now that I, the narrator who you definitely know exists decides to give the audience whose existence you deduce to be a reality based on the fact that there is a narrator in the first place a proper description of your personal living quarters.


	63. Examine your rat hole

Examine room==

Your room, as is to be expected, is full of various artifacts which relate in some way or another to your variety of interests. The walls are covered with posters from some of your favorite manga characters. Ultimo, Vash the Stampede, and your personal favorite, Don Patch. In the center of the room is the arena where you bear witness to the awesome spectacle of the gladiatorial style combat of your various creations. The arena is very similar to the type of stadium where pokemon battles are held in the cartoon, but you did not design it this way on purpose, It simply turned out this way. In what was once your closet where you kept your own personal dark secrets that were never ment to be seen by anyone except Mouse, is where you now keep the equipment you use for your genetic engineering. You used to keep it in your room, but it was just too much of a space hogger, so as soon as you were able to get a wardrobifier, you immediately converted your closet into a lab using a fenestrated plane setup that I, the narrator, may discuss in further detail at a later date. You also have a shelf above your bed, on which you store your manga for easy bedtime reading accessibility. Anyway, you decide that is enough just standing around, it's time to do something again!


	64. Robbie: check on client

Robbie: check on client==

You get comfortable on your bed and access your laptop. You pull up the sburb server program to get a look at your client's progress. He seems to be doing...extremely well. He has climbed several rungs of the echeladder and gained a lot of grist in a matter of minutes somehow. You are honestly blown away by this sudden increase in your co-players competence. Something is up and this demands explanation. There is only one person who could get Zach to work that hard. You think you should give her a call.


	65. Be Mouse

Editor's extra #1

**We interrupt your regular reading to bring you an entry not written by the author. This was be done by the editor and is done to entertain you while the author is writing the main story. I have some self-doubt when it comes to showing my writings. Anyway thank you for reading, please comment and review if you would be so kind.**

Be Mouse ==

This is you. You are a hybrid of a calico cat and a half pit bull half golden retriever. Your very existence is a "You can suck it" to dear old milf nature herself. Your scientific name is caniusfelus A.K.A. Mouse the catdog. Your hobbies include: sleeping, chasing small animals, performing in plays put on by your owner/guardian's abominations, reading his pester logs and sitting on his head while being nekid. You naughty little girl. Being a catdog you were created with the inborn abilities of a ninja combined with the sheer strength of a pro football player. The downside however is that you alternate between the laziness of an 8-year-old on a sugar crash and the active-ness of a fat man running for the last donut in the box. A hybrid such as yourself could only make the most dignified and radical sounds ever. "Meark", "Grriss" and "Purrowl". Yep, you are just awesome.


	66. Learn from Terezi

**Due to unforeseen technical difficulties I the editor personal apologize for the lack of updates and feel that you, the very little known reading audience deserve some sort of compensation. So I have decided to post an extra against the writer's previous instructions. For this I am sorry. P.S. Let me know what you think of it.**

Learn from Terezi ==

~Chat log~

BO: Aug . . . . Terezi we've been at this for hours and I still can't tell the diffrence between red and orange :|

GC: YOU'R3 L34RN1NG. 1 T4UGHT YOU HOW TO R34D 4ND SM3LL YOUR W4Y 4ROUND H4V3N'T 1?

BO: I still can't see how you can do this so easily :|

GC: OF COURS3 YOU C4N'T, YOU'R3 BL1ND.

BO: Why do you always have to embarrass me like that? :|

GC: 1'M 3MB4RR4SS1NG YOU, 4M 1? TH3N JUST T3LL M3 TO STOP.

BO: . . . . . . . . . . :|

GC: H33 H33 H33. SO YOU L1K3 B31NG 3MB4RR4SS3D?

BO: Only when you do it :|

GC: H33 H33 H33. 1S TH4T SO? *L1CK*

BO: *LICK* :|

*2X LICK*

~End chat log~

All the buckets were filled that day, ALL OF THEM.

Editor's note: This may or may not take place in an alternate timeline.


	67. Pester Vriska

Pester vriska==

-bakaOtaku began pestering arachnidsGrip-

BO: Hey :l

AG: Heeeeeeeey. What's up, Ro88ie,-Ray?!

BO: *sigh* What did you do? :|

AG: I have no idea what you're talking a8out!

BO: Zach is almost literally swimming in grist, and he is way higher on his echeladder than when I checked on him a few minutes ago. This reeks of your usual brand of meddling. So agian, what did you do? :l

AG: O.K., fine, you got me. I might have 8een meddling a little, 8ut it's not a 8ig deal.

BO: What did you do? :l

AG: Weeeeeeeell, I was watching Zach whale on those imps, and honestly, I thought he was having way to easy a time of it so I...

BO: You what? :l

AG: I just gave him a little reason to get motiv8ed, that's all, nothing too 8ad.

BO: Alright, I guess, just don't kill him, we need him to win :|

AG: Wow, harsh! I thought you two were 8est pupa pals for life!

BO: Not really, he just sorta hangs around and makes unnecessarily stupid jokes about my sexuality :|

AG: And you just take that from him?

BO: If cursing in japanese under my breath while suppressing 98% of my anger and hatred doesn't count then yeah, pretty much :|

AG: Laaaaaaaae!

AG: Anyway, I gotta go plan my next move, I'm sure fish 8oy is doing the same for you.

BO: Ugh, don't talk about him :|

AG: Oh come on, you know you like the fish-D ::::)

BO: I already get enough bullshit from that douche bag(a.k.a. Zach), I don't need anymore from you.

-bakaOtaku ceased pestering arachnidsGrip-

**Editor's note: I am a heterosexual no matter what that douche bag says. Also the writer is now working on an actual adventure on MSPA fan adventurers. So updates will be slower, please check it out in the fourms. The title of it is "It Begins".**

**P.S. The editor goes through more crap than you would think, I mean that in both the fanfic and real life.**


End file.
